


The Prefects' Bathroom

by astrosoda



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, despite the title it's sfw, it just alludes to it at the end, there's no actual relationship stuff in this sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-30 01:50:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11453481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrosoda/pseuds/astrosoda
Summary: Oliver is tired of hearing Percy go on and on about being a Prefect, and so to shut his friend up, he takes him to the Prefects' bathroom to show him what he's in for.





	The Prefects' Bathroom

**Author's Note:**

> despite the concerning title it's sfw I promise
> 
> I just have no creativity when it comes to titles

“W-Why are we doing this?” Percy asked. “Dumbledore might expel us, or give us detention, and you could lose your chance of being Quidditch Captain and I could lose my chance of being a Prefect-”

 Oliver shushed him. “Didn’t you say you wanted to know what the Prefects’ bathroom looked like before next year? So you could spend all summer fantasizing about using it instead of our shitty one?” Percy nodded. “Then help me open the door and keep your damn mouth shut.”  
  


Percy had talked about being a Prefect the whole of fourth year, and even though Oliver couldn’t blame him-he wasn’t exactly quiet about being Quidditch Captain after Charlie Weasley left-he still became tired of the “I’ll have an immense amount of power above you” attitude Percy held all the time.

So Oliver decided to take him to the Prefect’s bathroom in the middle of the night to shut him up about that tiny aspect of his ramblings. Part of the time Percy spent talking about being a Prefect was in honor of the bathroom, because even though he had never seen it, he was banking on it being the best room in the whole of the castle. (Oliver knew this was complete bullshit, because why would the professors let a few tolerable teenagers have a better bathroom than them? However, the bathrooms might be the best room available to students, he reasoned, and that’s probably why Percy thought that.)  
  
At the moment, Percy was trying to spell the lock open while Oliver had taken a more hands-on approach and attempted to shove the door open.

“Be quiet!” Percy whispered. “You’re causing a huge ruckus! Do you want Filch to find us?”

“I could not care less right now. That door doesn’t spell open, and neither of us know the password.”

Percy considered his logic and put his hands on the door, and pushed with no actual force. Oliver shot him a look and he put his whole body against it, as his friend had done.

The door finally creaked open, and the boys ran in and shut it before it could make too much noise and alert Filch to their actions. They looked around and gaped at what they saw.

There were large marble sinks and an entire pool-a pool!-in the center. Stained glass covered the walls, and the ceiling was an arched dome. Oliver was starting to doubt his theory about professors taking the good stuff for themselves, because he wasn’t sure what could beat this.

“Why isn’t there anyone else here?” Percy asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe if some Prefect has to take a piss in the middle of the night they’d rather go to their own floor’s so they don’t have to go through the door to hell over there to get here.”

Percy shrugged, and then ran over to one of the sinks! “Look, Oliver! This has a huge mirror! I can see my whole body in it!”

Oliver didn’t tell him that you couldn’t see his entire body in it because he everything below his waist was covered up by the sink. Instead, he admired the ceiling. “I bet this would cave in if a large storm came.”

“This castle’s been around for centuries. It would have fallen already.”

“Maybe not. What if a dragon landed on it, and it had all the students on it, and a storm was happening at the same time?”

Percy laughed. “Maybe only if that storm was a hurricane.”

“Where would the hurricane come from, smarty-pants?”

“I don’t know. Where would the hypothetical dragon and the permission slips for this possibly deadly roof excursion come from?”

Both boys were falling over the sink and laughing at this point. They elevated the story so much that when they were done, the agreement was that the roof would only fall if it had the entire castle (“How would the castle get up there if the bathroom is part of it?””Take them apart, idiot.”), four dragons, Gringotts, a Quidditch stand, a hurricane from an unknown source, and Oliver’s ego (met with much resentment from him) on top of it.

Percy checked the clock on the far end of the wall. “Shit, Oliver, we need to get back.”

“Yeah, I guess. Hey, when you get access to this place, let me use it every once in a while. I’m sick of using our grimy bathroom.”

Percy laughed. “Alright. Don’t use it too much, though, or I’ll get in trouble.”

“Fair enough,” Oliver chuckled.

The boys quietly slipped out of the bathroom and headed back to their dorm, being careful to avoid Filch. They made it back to their dorms without alerting him.

The next day at breakfast, however, Professor Dumbledore announced that someone that was not a Prefect went into their bathroom the night before, and said that this behavior would not continue. Oliver laughed into his hand while Percy gave him a look that said, I knew we would get in trouble. He spent the last month of fourth year terrified that a professor would corner him and accuse him of breaking in, an event that never occurred.

Oliver, however, did end up getting detention in the middle of sixth year for using the bathroom without permission, getting Percy scared all over again that he would be penalized for allowing it. Oliver laughed and said, “Come on, Perce, you don’t think I’m that shitty of a boyfriend, do you?”

**Author's Note:**

> @everyone who came here looking for a lot of percy/oliver content:sorry bud
> 
> thanks for reading!!


End file.
